Your soulmate is someone who’s soul matches yours, right? So why then do opposites attract? It may be because your soulmate and your significant other are two totally different things. This is a theory Sarah and I have been talking about for months. It started after a conversation we had in which we discovered all our morals and outlooks on life matched up exactly, more than they did with our boyfriends at the time. This is when we realized that there is a significant difference between soulmate and significant other.
Let me explain. Your soulmate should be the person you have the most in common with. Your views on the world, your outlook on life are identical. This is someone who makes you respond “Exactly!” when they share their opinion. For example, at the beginning of our friendship, Sarah was telling me that she has a strong desire to travel and see the world while she is young because we will never be this young and this active again. This was my “Exactly!” moment. Just days before, I had said the same thing to my fiance at the time and expressed my desire to move overseas to teach English. He did not think that was a good idea. But when I told Sarah, she said “Let’s do that!” Here is where the difference between significant other and soulmate comes into play.
The phrase “significant other” is often also referred to as your “other half.” There is a reason for that. You should think of yourself and your other half as a two piece puzzle. That person should fit to you, filling in the pieces of the picture that you are missing. In other words, they are the “other half” that makes you one completely well rounded and balanced being. For example, I can be a pretty submissive person, so I am usually drawn to more dominate personalities. In the areas where you are lacking, the other person excels, and vise versa. Unfortunately, that means that you will not always agree on the direction you want your lives to go. One of the reasons I am no longer with my guy is because we could not agree on the same path. That being said, you and your significant other have to have enough in common to work toward the same goal.
So what does all this mean? Well, in my experience life works out a little better when your soulmate and your significant other are two different people. Your soul mate should be the person you travel the world with, talk about social norms with, the one you can be crazy with without fear of judgement. Your best friend. In contrast, your significant other should be the person you settle down with, the person you want to build a life with, someone who makes you want to be a better you. Think of your soulmate as your playmate and your significant other as your partner. Playmates can be carefree and just have fun whereas partners have to make big decisions together and support one another.
Hollywood has lead us to believe that your boyfriend or girlfriend has to be your best friend, and that is just not true. Now, am I saying that your soulmate and your significant other can’t be the same person? Of course not. Some people can make that dynamic work, and that’s great. However, I personally believe that a best friend/boyfriend (or girlfriend) relationship can be a little complected. I know. I’ve dated two of my best friends. Neither relationship turned out well, and as a result I lost my best friend, both times. All I’m saying is it’s difficult to find someone that can fill both job descriptions. Besides, if your significant other is your best friend, who do you complain to when they are driving you crazy?
Okay, so what is the takeaway here? Your soulmate and your significant other do not have to be the same person. Does that mean your boyfriend can’t have soulmate qualities or that your soulmate can’t be as supportive as a significant other should be? No, it doesn’t. When it comes down to it, the interpretation of what makes a good soulmate or the perfect significant other is up to you. Only you know what you want in your future life partner or what you need in a best friend. So find your soulmate while you are young. Love will come and go faster than you want it to, but as long as you have your soul sister by your side through every confusing fling or broken heart, you will be just fine. There will plenty of that time to find the person you want to build a life with. While you wait, take that road trip to the Grand Canyon, stay up until the sunrise dancing your feelings out, and do it all with someone who is already on the same life path as you.