The Importance of Having a Serious, Stable Relationship with Yourself

Hopefully, some of you noticed that I haven’t written anything on here in a few days. I tried to start a few different pieces, but was just not feeling up to it. Last week, I went through some very significant changes to my relationship status. Let’s just say, the About page used to mention a fiance. For the most part, I am alright, due significantly to taking the last week to focus on and take care of myself. But now, more than ever, I need this blog. I need to dive head first into my bucket list and plow through it. I need to live my life. I realize now that I was way too content staying home and saying, “I’ll start my bucket list soon,” and that is a horrible way to live. I have to  act quickly while there is nothing holding me back (Not to say that the fiance was holding me back, but you can’t necessarily travel the world while you are saving up for a wedding or having babies. And if you can, kudos to you).  So, hopefully, very soon you will see a plethora of posts depicting my adventures.

Anyway, what I want to focus on in the post is something I’ve really discovered in the last week: The importance of having a serious, stable relationship with yourself before entering into a relationship with anyone else. Everyone always says, “How can you love anyone if you don’t love yourself?” or “You can’t have a successful relationship with someone if you don’t know who you are.” Well, this is a form of both of those concepts, I suppose. Loving who you are is a very important thing in this life, but the thing is, you aren’t always going to know who you are. As a rule, human beings grow and change constantly. Honestly, it’s why I think the divorce rate is so high. Sometimes couples don’t grow together and as a result don’t like who their partner has become. But I digress. You aren’t always going to know who you are, so how can you wait for that knowledge before entering into a relationship? The key is liking the person you are in the moment you are them. Are you always going to love who you are? Of course not. Take me for example. Do I love where I am currently? No. But I have a good job that pays well and incredible friends, so I’m pretty happy with this version of me. You need to at least be able to look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day. If you can’t, then it’s time to work on your relationship with you.

So how does all of this tie in with bucket lists? One of the things that makes me not like myself in a moment is the amount of regrets I am holding onto. I don’t have many currently, but by the time I’m fifty or sixty, they could create a pretty significant pile. This is yet another reason not to wait until “someday.” Just do it now. You literally have nothing to lose. Even if something that presents itself to you isn’t on your bucket list, create the memory anyway. I almost guarantee you that you aren’t going to regret that one night you went to the club with your friends instead of bingeing Friends for the eighth timeConsider the movie Yes Man where he makes a covenant to say “Yes” to literally every thing. He ends up meeting these amazing people, learning incredible skills, climbing the corporate ladder, and even meets the girl of his dreams. While I don’t condone going that extreme with it, I strongly believe that anytime an opportunity presents itself, if you are able, you should go for it. Memories and love are the only things you can take with you when you go and the only ones that truly matter here. Why not give yourself both?

In summary, take some time to get right with you. You’ve heard the phrase, “You don’t need no man!” (especially if you know me personally, as I say this all the time). But it’s true. You don’t need someone else to value you or give you love because in the end all that matters is this: Do you think you are enough? Are you happy with right-now-you? Yes? Then that’s all you need. So be single. Go on adventures. Make memories. Find out who you are in this moment. And above all, value your relationship with yourself.

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